I haven’t written for a while because I did not feel that I had anything to share. I have been busy, at times bordering on the feeling of being somewhat overwhelmed, and have just felt off, like something was out of balance.

This morning I decided to listen to a guided meditation, first time in a while. Wow, did that help! Why did I wait so long? Maybe, like a persimmon that’s sunning on a tree, I wasn’t quite “ripe” yet. Today, I guess I was.

During the meditation, I had the opportunity to have a conversation with my higher self, explore a fear I was experiencing that I was totally unaware of. I paused the CD and spent time allowing myself to feel what was bubbling up, and then address it.

I talked through my feelings and listened to the responses that came naturally back to me.

This helped me understand that I was still holding onto some beliefs that did not serve me, carried from past experiences that were horrific. 

I asked myself what I was “living” during that awful period. My response: I was in a really negative space, constantly ruminating over how bad my life was, angry and feeling hopeless about my situation. I could not let it go. 

My next question to self, "Then what did I expect to receive, living with, carrying around that attitude?" After all, what we feed grows!

Fortunately, I have been able to lay down that load and when I need a reminder that it’s oh so easy to pick it up again, I’m now more aware when something feels out of alignment.

I am so grateful for (and send a big Thank You to) my family and friends and for the resources that I surround myself with (like the guided meditation CDs) that whisper to me while I reach for the light.

It gets easier each time, to recognize, although I guess it’s always lurking out there somewhere. Life is a journey and the journey matters more than the destination.  I'm finding peace, contentment and joy on mine, more frequently and with less effort.  I'm laying down my load...I guess this is what I'm supposed to share. 

With Love and Light,

Barbara